As Michael Ball warned in his song Love Changes Everything; “Love will never never let you be the same.” So we, the noble civilians must take action and intervene before the entire population falls victim to its sly antics. Because when love blinds its victims, it gags and chains them too, locking them away in a tall tower where the victim only sees through rose tinted glass so that all trace of truth and reality become estranged and unknown to them. Sound familiar? Fairytale-like even? Allow me to demonstrate my point.
From the moment our heads emerged into the world, we have been taught how to look, speak, act and dress to impress. Look at how “Love” has managed to sneak its way into our very own family lounge rooms and onto our plasmas. Oh “Love” knows how best to attack the unsuspecting. This is why innocent eyes of young children are prime targets of its inconspicuous acts. The instant they pop out of the womb, infants are put in front of a television where they proceed to become exposed to a disillusioned, sunshine-lollipops-and-rainbows perspective of love. So it comes to no surprise that not an eyelid flickers when little girls spontaneously burst out into song on finding a prince, a hero to come and save them. What has made our eyes so accustomed to this phenomenon? Why has it become acceptable for three year olds to warble about awaiting marriage, as fairytale lyrics similar to Snow White’s Someday My Prince Will Come suggest? Look no further than the likes of Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty and Rapunzel of course! In these fairytales, fundamentally each princess or ‘heroine’ is portrayed as the “Damsel in Distress” as she awaits her “Knight in Shining Armour.” Without fail, he’ll gallop along on his noble white stallion and rescue her with the promise of marriage, a lavish lifestyle and babies to boot! But, alas who comes between them but a witch or an Evil Stepmother? Stop, now think again, just who is the true hero here? The prince and his lady-in-waiting-for-rescuing with distorted vision, blinded by the mask of “Love,” or, the ‘evil’ witch with her countless attempts to intervene and split up the budding courtship? I beg you to re-watch all these movies that entail these characteristics of love, and judge for yourself what is righteous. But who really needs to save them? Parents need the wool pulled off their eyes and ears, look beyond the fact that their child is the next Mariah Carey and listen to what their daughter (or son) is really singing about.
It’s not just girls who are targeted by “Love.” From birth, boys too are gradually cooked like a frog sitting in a pot of cold water over the intensifying heat of a stove. If the frog were placed in boiled water, it’d jump out straight away! So slowly she goes, sedating her targets at a leisurely pace, gradually, so that their vision of love becomes a distorted and foggy one. Take Superman for example. Why is he so “Super”? Oh that’s right, it’s because he teaches boys that they should be strong, masculine and able to save helpless women from the arms of disaster. But it doesn’t stop there. How about his fashion sense? Young boys who idolise this “Superhero” too, turn to their helpless mothers (who have become so heavily drugged up on Love they do not see the impact it imposes upon her offspring) and request for a replica of Supe’s spandex! Luckily, as they grow older they realise that this attire doesn’t particularly turn the heads of feeble women in need of rescuing. Nor does it instantly transform them into a buff, bullet-proof spoof with X-ray vision or the ability to fly –despite their countless efforts, even in their manhood.
I propose that we re-educate our young with wholesome, realistic perspectives of love, whereby both boys and girls are taught how to respect themselves and each other. Integrating how to share, co-operate and care, not to mention a lesson or two in domestic chores and classes for basic cooking, computing and car-tyre changing skills. I mean, look at Nick and Jess. There’s a fine line between stupidity and common sense, but everyone knows that they’d still be together today had Ms Simpson only been able to differentiate chicken from fish. These are the vital skills that lay the foundation to lifelong, lasting relationships. In addition, any form of media that inadequately portrays love such as television programs, movies and books should come with a rating, not dissimilar to that of the warnings for “infrequent coarse language.” A short message as simple as, “Warning: contains unrealistic views of love; bucket may be required,” would best achieve the desired effect and help combat this villain called “Love.”
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Revived upon finding an old usb, this is my Year 12 English satirical essay. Unedited. Unchanged. Rate it or hate it. 8)
PS: Aural wine? Hollywood by Angus and Julia Stone accompanies quite aptly.
I rate it, I actually learnt something :| ":D
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